Weekly Agenda
WEEK 9
1. Opening + emotional check-in
What has shifted since the last conversation?
I want to start by going back to something you said in your message because I think you uncovered something really important. You said that underneath the anger toward other people, there’s actually anger toward yourself for allowing people to walk over you. What has come up for you around that since we talked?
Questions:
Where do you notice resentment most?
What situations trigger the feeling of “I’m never letting this happen again”?
What do you say to yourself after someone crosses a boundary?
Do you feel more angry at yourself for not saying no, or for being hopeful/nice/trusting?
What does “being nice” mean to you?
What do you fear would happen if you became more assertive?
Do you think the anger is actually protecting you from other people—or protecting you from ever feeling that powerless version of yourself again?
2. Explore the protective function of anger
Anger isn't the enemy and likely developed for a reason.
I don't want us to make your anger wrong. At some point, your anger learned that it had a job. It learned, ‘If I stay angry, we won't let this happen again.’ So rather than trying to get rid of the anger, I want to understand what it's trying to do for you.
Questions:
What is anger trying to prevent?
“What would happen if you weren't angry anymore?”
“What does the anger make sure you remember?”
“What does it tell you about what you will and won't tolerate?”
“If your anger could speak, what would it say?”
“What does your anger believe would happen if you forgave yourself?”
“What does it believe would happen if you stopped thinking about what they did?”
Sometimes self-blame creates the illusion of control.
“If it was my fault that I allowed it, then I can make sure it never happens again.”
Whereas:
“Sometimes people hurt me, and I didn't deserve it”
can feel much more vulnerable because there is less perceived control.
3. The “nice girl” identity
Nice = safe/lovable/good
Boundaries = mean/selfish/rejectingQuestions:
What do you believe a nice person is allowed to do?
Can a nice person say no?
Can a nice person disappoint someone?
Can a nice person walk away?
Can a nice person be misunderstood?
Can a nice person choose themselves?
Can you be warm without being available to everyone?
Reframe:
You don't need to become less nice. You need to become more discerning.
Not: “I need to stop being so nice.”
But: “I can remain open-hearted while having strong boundaries.”
And perhaps: “Kindness without boundaries becomes self-abandonment.”
4. The self-forgiveness piece
When you look back at the version of you who allowed these things, what are you judging her for, specifically?
Questions:
What did that version of you actually know at the time?
What was she trying to get by staying?
Can we separate responsibility from blame?
Responsibility:
“I can learn from what happened and change what I do going forward.”Blame:
“I should have known better, and I'm angry at myself for not protecting myself.”The first creates agency.
The second creates shame.
5. The boundary/anger integration
Last time we talked about not accepting someone else's emotional package. But I think there's another package here that belongs to you — the anger you're carrying toward yourself.
What if you also don't have to keep carrying the package labeled ‘I should have protected myself better’?
This gives you two separate releases:
Package #1
Their anger → give it back.
Package #2
Your self-punishment → release it.
And replace it with:
“I can take the lesson without carrying the pain.”
WEEK 8
1. Your Profound Transformation
Old identity > Emerging identity:
“I need to achieve to be loved.” > “I don't need to achieve to be loved.”
“I need a goal.” > “I don't need a goal.”
“I need to control the outcome.” > “I can handle uncertainty.”
“I need to prove myself.” > “I can make my own decisions.”
“I need to work hard enough.” > “I can leave situations that aren't right for me.”
“I need to qualify.” > “I can love what I do.”
“What will happen if I fail?” > “I don't need to push myself so hard. I don't care. I'm happy.”
2. Explore “I don't care” Realization
“I truly… don't. Care.”
Healthy detachment vs. protective disengagement
Questions:
When you say you don't care, what exactly don't you care about?
Do you mean you don't care whether you succeed?
Or you don't care whether success determines your worth?
Do you still deeply want things?
Can you want something without needing it?”
Can you work incredibly hard at something without making it mean something about you?
Could the new Kaitlyn care deeply about climbing while simultaneously not needing climbing to validate her?
3. Other People's Opinions
Questions:
Whose opinion do you care about the most?
What specifically are you afraid they'll think?
And if they thought that, what would it mean about you?
4. Post-event Crash
“Full blown panic attack. The old me is trying to pull me underwater. It usually succeeds.”
You can access your new identity/alter ego during an event, but haven't completely learned how to process the emotional aftermath without reverting to the old meaning-making system.
Let’s explore the sequence:
Event > interpretation > emotion > identity story > behavior
Questions:
What happens in the first 30 seconds after a disappointing result?
What is the first thought?
What does your brain tell you the result means?
What does it say about your future?
What does it say about your identity?
What does it say about how other people see you?
What happens in your body?
What do you then want to do?
5. Separate Disappointment from Identity
One of the beliefs still appearing is:
“Sometimes [a disappointing performance] says something about who I am.”
That performance was disappointing vs. I'm disappointing
I didn't achieve my goal vs. I'm a failure.
Hayley climbed better than me vs. I'm behind
I don't know whether I'll ever achieve this vs. I need to figure it out right now
6. Reframe Relationship with Goals
We don’t need to rush into a new climbing goal. We want to protect this experiment, because you have never lived without a goal. Now she are. That is psychologically significant.
Questions:
What if having no goal isn't a lack of ambition? What if it's evidence that you finally don't need a future achievement to feel okay in the present?
What happens if we don't decide where climbing is going for the next 30 days?
Could you climb simply because you love climbing?
Play with I must qualify for X vs. I want to explore what climbing looks like when I am free.
7. The most important identity distinction — Who are you when nobody is watching?
Who is Kaitlyn when nobody knows what she climbed?
Who is she when nobody knows whether she succeeded?
Who is she when nobody is impressed?
Who is she when someone thinks she made the wrong decision?
Who is she when another athlete surpasses her?
Who is she when she chooses something others don't understand?
Who is she when she disappoints someone?
Who is she when she does something purely because she wants to
The goal isn't to stop caring what people think. The goal is to stop outsourcing the definition of you to what other people think. That's a much healthier target than emotional numbness.
8. “Two Kaitlyns” exercise
Close your eyes and imagine two chairs in your living room.
Chair 1: The old Kaitlyn
Embody the version of you who believed “I need to achieve to be loved.”
What does she fear?
What does she need people to think?
What does she believe happens if she fails?
What does she believe happens if another woman gets better?
What does she believe happens if she doesn't have a goal?
What does she believe happens if she stops pushing?
Chair 2: The new Kaitlyn
What does this version know that the old version doesn't?
What does she know about being loved?
What does she know about failure?
What does she know about uncertainty?
What does she know about other people's opinions?
What does she know about climbing?
What would happen if the old Kaitlyn's fear showed up tomorrow?
WEEK 6
1. Comp Review
Explore belief that effort should always produce immediate evidence of success. Release that expectation and strengthen an identity rooted in consistency, adaptability, and self-trust can help you develop the resilience needed for a multi-year Olympic campaign, where setbacks are inevitable but don't have to define your confidence or commitment.
You actually did many things that high-performing athletes do well:
Prepared well
Enjoyed the experience
Stayed present after mistakes
Recovered emotionally within a day
Still made finals
Recognized that one competition shouldn't define you
QUESTIONS
What are you most disappointed about?
What story are you telling yourself because of this competition?
What hurts the most?
If this competition had gone exactly how you wanted, what would that have meant about you?
You said you did everything right.
What did you expect would happen because you did everything right?
If preparation automatically guaranteed success, would sport still be sport?
What variables were outside your control?
What variables were completely inside your control?
If another athlete prepared exactly like you but slipped because of heat or conditions, what would you think about them?
Would you think they suddenly weren't talented?
So why is the standard different for you?
Forget the placing, what are five things you did that future Olympic Kaitlyn would be proud of?
When you picture the athlete who stands on the Olympic wall in 2028...
How does she respond after a disappointing competition?
What does she learn?
What does she refuse to make the result mean?
What would Olympic Kaitlyn want current you to understand today?
2. Weekly Homework Assignment
WEEK 5
1. Wealth Transformation Work
Let’s discuss how we want to integrate the money piece more intentionally into our work together during your next session — releasing money blocks, shifting what may be holding you back, and creating the safety and confidence needed to generate the revenue you desire.
Map Money Pressure Pattern
Pressure Trigger > Old Pattern Begins > Activation Cue > Performance Identity > Execution
2. Comp Prep
I also want us to focus on integrating everything you’re experiencing through our work together into your next comp. The emotional regulation, identity evolution, and trust you’re building around money also support how you show up, perform, and lead yourself. Let’s bring it all together so you’re strengthening not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.
WEEK 4
1. RTT Session Wins & Integration Check-In
What felt different this week?
Where did you notice yourself catching old patterns sooner?
When did you feel most free in training?
Where did pressure still take over?
What surprised you?
Let’s revisit your Trigger Loop:
Trigger > Thought > Need for Control > Anxiety > Behavior > Result
2. Review Best Performance Evidence
Who are you when you're already performing at your best?
When you're having one of your best races...
What are you thinking?
What aren't you thinking about?
How does your body feel?
How do you move differently?
How do you make decisions?
What emotions are present?
What emotions disappear?
How do you respond after mistakes?
How much are you thinking versus reacting?
3. Define Everyday Kaitlyn vs Performance Kaitlyn/BIG Pookie
Every elite athlete has a version of themselves that naturally appears when they're completely immersed in execution. Let’s learn to access that state deliberately!
Create two columns and write down:
Everyday Kaitlyn and Performance Kaitlyn/BIG Pookie
4. Begin Building Your Alter Ego
If this version of you could only follow five rules, what would they be?
How does she stand?
How does she breathe?
How does she walk to the gate?
What does she notice?
What doesn't she notice?
Does this version have a name other than BIG Pookie?
5. Weekly Homework Assignment
6. Quick Admin Note
Just a quick reminder that your next coaching payment is due on July 21st. Your payment link is at the bottom of your personal webpage.
I also remembered you had originally mentioned wanting to pay in full, so I wanted to let you know that if you prefer to pay the remaining balance early, you're always welcome to. There's absolutely no pressure. Your current payment plan remains exactly as agreed, with payments due on the 21st of each month. I just wanted you to know the option is there if it's more convenient for you.
WEEK 3
RTT Session
SESSION FOCUS: Underlying belief system that drives the insane pressure, extreme stress and need for control
WEEK 2
1. Integration & Wins
What stood out from your journals this week?
When did you notice pressure showing up?
Did anything surprise you?
When did you naturally access your Performance Identity/”BIG Pookie”?
What felt different compared to before?
What are you learning about yourself?
Follow-up on post comp text questions:
What are the facts of what happened today, separate from the story you're telling yourself about it?
What did you do today that you're genuinely proud of, regardless of the outcome?
When you say, "When will it be my turn?" what does "my turn" actually represent for you?
If you watched someone else have the exact competition you had today, what would you say to them?
What part of today's result was within your control, and what wasn't?
What does today's competition tell you about your process? What doesn't it tell you?
If this competition were simply data instead of a verdict, what data did you collect?
What evidence do you have that your work is moving you forward, even if today didn't show it?
What would success have looked like today if winning or running the time wasn't available?
What did you learn about yourself today that you didn't know yesterday?
Who do you want to become through this pursuit, regardless of when the breakthrough comes?
What kind of competitor do you want to be on the days things don't go your way?
If your breakthrough came tomorrow, what qualities would have made you ready for it? Which of those qualities can you practice this week?
2. Anxiety > Control Loop Review at Last Comp
At comp > Need certainty > Trying to control outcome > More thinking > More monitoring > More anxiety > Less trust > More control
Has anything changed?
Where are you noticing the loop begin?
Are there situations where you interrupt it sooner?
There are two moments in every pressure cycle:
The trigger and the moment you notice you've been pulled away from execution (This where training happens).
Let’s create a revised loop.
Pressure Trigger > Old Pattern Begins > NOTICE > Activation Cue > Performance Identity > Execution
We want to focus on shortening the time between trigger and recovery
3. Define the Principles and Rules of Your Performance Identity
When you’re performing at your absolute best, finish these statements:
"I am..."
"I don't..."
"I always..."
"What matters most is..."
What never changes regardless of score?
When you're competing as your best self, what rules does she live by?
Let's build 5–7 rules/principles that feel authentic to you. Timeless, fundamental truths or guiding rules that form the foundation for your behavior and consistently produce results when you put them into practice.
Which of these feels most important when pressure is highest?
4. Design Your Competition Switch
Your routine isn't designed to remove nerves. It's designed to tell your brain, 'It's time to perform.'
Let’s build a simple 20-30 second sequence.
Example:
Step 1: One deep breath.
Step 2: Adopt an athletic posture.
Step 3: Use the activation cue (Rub arms; “I’ve got this!”).
Step 4: Recall the primary identity principle/rule.
Step 5: Direct attention to the first executable task.
Let’s practice!
5. Guided Pressure Rehearsal
Answer the following questions after each scenario I present.
What thoughts appeared?
What happened in your body?
What did your Performance Identity do?
How quickly did you recover?
6. Expand Your Activation Cue
How did your cue work during the week (Rub arms; “I’ve got this!”)?
The Cue = Breath + posture + physical anchor + word
The more consistently it's rehearsed, the more automatic it becomes.
7. Weekly Homework Assignment
WEEK 1
1. Set Expectations
What made you decide now was the right time to get support?
Review initial self-reflection
Decide regular weekly session day and time and text support hours
2. Define Success for the Next 90 Days
What do you want to achieve?
Who do you want to become during this process?
3. Map Pressure Pattern
Let’s take a closer look at and map out your Control > Anxiety Loop
Example:
Competition approaching > Need certainty > Trying to control outcome > More thinking > More monitoring > More anxiety > Less trust > More control
What are you trying to control when you feel pressure?
What are you afraid might happen if you don't control it?
What would that outcome mean about you?
4. Establish Baseline Performance State
Expand on your best three performances (Not best results, best experiences)
For each performance:
What were you focused on?
What was your self-talk like?
What emotions were present?
How did your body feel?
What were you doing differently?
What are the patterns?
What do you notice?
5. Performance Identity Version 1
We're not creating a fake version of you. We're creating a reliable access point to the version of you that already exists when you're at your best.
If the version of you that performs at her best walked into the room, how would she carry herself?
How would she think?
How would she respond to doubt?
What would she trust?
6. Create First Activation Cue
Based on everything you shared, let’s develop one cue. When pressure shows up, where do you want your attention to go? The answer becomes your cue.
7. First Guided Pressure Rehearsal
Let’s rehearse!
8. Weekly Homework Assignment